Relaxing In Cafes T-Shirts

"It's nice to come here and get a break from the office."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Today's special... donuts.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Hats and Food

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Coffee Menu

"I'd say business was brisk."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"Howdy folks. My name is Mary-Lou and I'll be your server tonight."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'You made me jump.'

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

What's the insect de jour?

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'