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When Anteaters Dine Out

"I'm looking for a memorable flavor experience at a forgettable price."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Today's special... donuts.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Hats and Food

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Grandma's caf

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Coffee Menu

"I'd say business was brisk."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Coffee

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!