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Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Coffee Menu

Food inspection results

'It takes all day to eat it.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

Whatcha doing for vacation, Emily? Working at the beach caf� where all the lifeguards hang out. I'm ready for a summer of love! Me too! Aren't you babysitting? For 3 of the cutest little boys in West Fester Elementary. Check out the sexy chocolate milk mustache.

Voting on their Seats

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

"I'm looking for a memorable flavor experience at a forgettable price."

"Fiction or non-fiction?"

"Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation."

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

Le Cafe. Yes, Mister Hemmingway, our cafe will deliver meals anywhere in the city. "A movable feast"!

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

"You finished yours already?"

Lunch at the Carlsbad Caverns.

"Soup of the day."

When Anteaters Dine Out

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

"Salt mill?"

Black Hole Saloon. Darkness Hour Sunset to closing.

"Do you have 'Cheese and Pickle...?'"

"I'm, like, really really upset about the, like, current situation in the Middle East...."

"Armstrong, I have an idea. We should advertise the cafe on hippo-owners.com."

This cafe's frugal owner has hired a monkey to do tech support. Meaning what? When customers have computer questions, they ask the monkey. Monkeys can't fix computers. The least of the problems. Tech support ate my shoe. Can I sell you a scone to walk on?

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!