Working In Cafes T-Shirts

"I hate it when people bring their work to the cafe."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Today's special... donuts.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Hats and Food

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Cafe Burns.

National Coffee Day

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

Coffee Menu

How About Serving Us For a Change

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"I'd say business was brisk."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.