Cafe Employee T-Shirts

'He says he's a 'Sandwich artist' and he refuses to work in honey mustard.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Do you have any catsup?'

Today's special... donuts.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

Cafe Burns.

National Coffee Day

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'You've had enough!'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

How About Serving Us For a Change

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

Coffee

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

Choice hellhole

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Come in, minion."

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'