Relativity Enthusiast Gifts

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'Either space is curved, or the back of some guy's head is exactly like mine.'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

Einstein's in and out trays: InOutRelative.

'So much for Newton. Now, as for Einstein...'

"Our funding has gone into a black hole."

Albert Einstein

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

The Physiciatrist...

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Owl thinks of mathematical equation.

"It could never work between us."

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

'People, get a half-life!'

A Newton's cradle wrecking ball.

Newton's Law and Order.

Astronaut

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Newton's vacation

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'