Relationship Update Pillows

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Love at First Sight

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

I only have eyes for you

"Mr. Right!"

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

Relationship Warning Lights

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

Love linked

"She's just being Koi."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'