New Relationship Status Update Pillows

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Love at First Sight

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Mr. Right!"

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

I only have eyes for you

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"She's just being Koi."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

Love linked

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

Mantis Love