Relationship Status Enthusiast Pillows

"I now decree that this relationship has transitioned from 'it's complicated' to 'married'."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"You lack spontaniety."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Growing Love

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Arouse Me!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

'Sharing is saying you're my friend, without having to say 'you're my friend'.'