Relationship Status Enthusiast Pillows

"I now decree that this relationship has transitioned from 'it's complicated' to 'married'."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Paint pots in love

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"Arouse Me!"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Hold on

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Growing Love

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

'Sharing is saying you're my friend, without having to say 'you're my friend'.'