Relationship Upgrader Pillows

"Good day, madam, according to the terms and conditions of your marriage vows, you are now eligible for a full-husband upgrade."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Paint pots in love

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Urns in love

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"My computer just texted me."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Heart to heart talk.

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Arthur, I need my space."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."