Relationship Teaser Pillows

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Snowprov

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"This will be hilarious!"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

"Sir,your wife is here for a cuddle."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"How nice. A truffle."

"Look I've already said, I'm not going to bed with you on our first date"

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.