Relationship Teaser Pillows

'Okay, I'm sorry I called you a cheeky monkey. Now, stop moaning and eat your banana!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Snowprov

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

"How nice. A truffle."

"Look I've already said, I'm not going to bed with you on our first date"

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"Sir,your wife is here for a cuddle."

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."