Family Teaser Pillows

"My uncle's got a wooden leg..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

"My entire family's coming for the holidays."

"All rise."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

'Stop annoying the dog Andrew!'

"We're a big, happy family here, so think of your firing as tough love."

"For the last time, young man, I said 'NO'! You may NOT feed bubble gum to the dog!"

A Mom and Pop Operation

Dad’s Homework Assignment

"I've changed my mind son - I've decided that I do want to be a financial burden on you . . !"

New Rules for the Household

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Luna - short for Lunatic.

"I don't suppose there's any point in asking what kind of day you've had?"

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

'Your breakfast in bed is on the kitchen ceiling, Mum.'