Romantic Tease Pillows

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Sexual chemistry set

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Shuck me.'

The Stripper

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Cupid

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Very funny."

Banana striptease...

Hit Me

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

A rabbit is followed out of a Magician's hat by a greyhound.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

Valentine's Day texting

Love Mix Ups.

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."