Romantic Tease Pillows

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Sexual chemistry set

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

The Stripper

'Shuck me.'

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Cupid

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

"Very funny."

Hit Me

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

Banana striptease...

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

'I don't like the look of yours...'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

A rabbit is followed out of a Magician's hat by a greyhound.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

"You have a date with Tim Jones? Really? You're so wicked: he's at least a day younger than you!"

Valentine's Day texting