Temperamental Teaser Pillows

"Would you like to step inside -'mate'?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Have you been working out?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

"Whoops..."

'Do either of you fancy joining our pub quiz team?'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Culturally significant problems solved

Man with 'low memory' on his phone and his head

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Terrific solution. Now if we could only find a problem fit it."

Remembering passwords.

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

'Bottle nose! Bottle nose!'

Opposing viewpoint.

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

'He calls me lambchop and I call him muttonhead.'