Relationship Repair Experts Pillows

'Do you have one that says 'Sorry I missed our wedding'?'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"I don't know who you are!"

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

Preying mantis marriage councellor.

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I love what you've done with him."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

Express Therapy

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"It says here we should get a lodger."