Relationship Repairman Pillows

Man to Marriage Counselor: 'All I'm asking for is a little respect.'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"I don't know who you are!"

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"I love what you've done with him."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"He never takes me anywhere."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

"Nope - ya know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure..."

"Do you want to watch another episode or heal our relationship?"

'That's your solution to everything, isn't it? Throw a bucket of glitter over it.'

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid!'

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."