Relationship Renegade Pillows

"Well, you said that you wanted us to spice up our sex life..."

'Just what kind of girl do you think I am?'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Well, so long, Bert."

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"Now is there any chance you'll go to bed with me?"

Couples: 'This weekend, for a change, I'd like to flout convention.'

'Didn't you hear me? I said that I'm going home to my mother!'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Female Dominance.

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"I want you to start thinking back inside the box."

Exams

Problem solving centre.

Church Drive-Thru.

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Solar Storm Expected!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'