Romance Renegades Pillows

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

Female Dominance.

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"Declared Victory Garden"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

TV tie-in book signpost.

Dead cupid

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

Hells singles

'Just what kind of girl do you think I am?'

"I faked your New Year's resolution."

"...Yes, I do. But, I also believe in hate at first sight."

'The service station was out of flowers so I got you some Valentine's day engine oil'