Romantic Renegades Pillows

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

Wedding Wellies

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

Female Dominance.

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

We should talk...

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

"I can’t help it. I’m drawn to bad boys."

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

"...And to love, cherish and occasionally look up from your phones at each other?"

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

Dead cupid

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

Hells singles