Romantic Renegades Gifts

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

Wedding Wellies

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

We should talk...

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

Female Dominance.

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

"...And to love, cherish and occasionally look up from your phones at each other?"

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"I can’t help it. I’m drawn to bad boys."

Dead cupid

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

"I've crunched the numbers in your retirement account. It's time to figure out who will be wearing the mask and who will be driving the getaway car."

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

'Just what kind of girl do you think I am?'