Resume Renegades Gifts

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Queen of Upcycling!

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

"Declared Victory Garden"

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"I faked your New Year's resolution."

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"It' an aftermath of the African campaign."

Shouting.

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

"Whenever they low, I get high."

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!"

"No need to remove your pants. I think I've seen enough of your resume."

Bruce and Shirley go about their daily routine, totally unaware of the vicious circle that lurks in the darkness.

"A double wedding was a good idea. Hope that your husband and my wife don't miss us!"

Supermarket checkout sigs read: 'Eight items or less; Cash only; I'll think of something.'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Ah, he's given me notice, but I'm taking his wall-paper with me! ...'