Rental Renegades Gifts

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Ah, he's given me notice, but I'm taking his wall-paper with me! ...'

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

House hunting is cruel.

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

The lessor of two evils.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Declared Victory Garden"

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Looks like his business confidence is picking up.

"I've crunched the numbers in your retirement account. It's time to figure out who will be wearing the mask and who will be driving the getaway car."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

"I'll email the landlord."

'No love, the public haven't voted you out. You haven't paid your rent.'

‘We unknowingly bought a leasehold new build!’

"Sorry, sire, could it be under another name?"

Tenants and Landlords

"It'll have to be your place. I Airbnb'd myself out of my apartment tonight."

'And this is my landlord...'