Love Renegade Gifts

Dead cupid

Hiding the electronics.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

Music Freak.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Female Dominance.

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Exams

Problem solving centre.

Complaints (just kidding).

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Follow our interest rates on Twitter.

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

TV tie-in book signpost.

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

Model Village