Love Renegade Gifts

Dead cupid

Hiding the electronics.

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Music Freak.

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Exams

Problem solving centre.

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Complaints (just kidding).

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

TV tie-in book signpost.

Model Village

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'