Romance Renegades T-Shirts

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Female Dominance.

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"Declared Victory Garden"

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

TV tie-in book signpost.

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

Dead cupid

"I've crunched the numbers in your retirement account. It's time to figure out who will be wearing the mask and who will be driving the getaway car."

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Just what kind of girl do you think I am?'

Hells singles

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"...Yes, I do. But, I also believe in hate at first sight."

'The service station was out of flowers so I got you some Valentine's day engine oil'