Relationship Re-enactors Gifts

'Michael and I are playing 'married.' I'm getting ready and he's sitting in the car beeping the horn.'

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

The Army of the Potomac- A Sharpshooter on Picket Duty

Medieval Page Boy