Relationship Re-enactors T-Shirts

'Michael and I are playing 'married.' I'm getting ready and he's sitting in the car beeping the horn.'

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Knight school.

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

The Army of the Potomac- A Sharpshooter on Picket Duty

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Medieval Page Boy