Relationship Mystic Gifts

In the Guru District

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Asking out a palm reader.

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Harold, you've changed."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

The Map of the Human Heart

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."