Quirky Relationship Navigator Gifts

'No, Alice, it's not an inconvenient time to call. I was just taking a break to reload.'

Man locked in latex costume

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."