Relationship Guidance Gifts

Counselor.

In the Guru District

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"You do like octopus?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Relationship Warning Lights

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'You know too much!'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.