Relationship Coaching Gifts

"True, we could be soaring through the emerald corridors of sunset. What's your point?"

'If he wants your opinion... I'll give it to him!'

"OMG! This is so much better than the real thing."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'You know too much!'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"You've changed."