Relationship Coach Gifts

The male conversation enhancement pill.

Men. After shelling out for flowers, dinner and a movie, they all expect the same thing: a refund.

'For crying out loud,can't you see? I need more space!'

"It's not you-it's me."

"I guess this makes up for all those months you didn't speak to me."

'I normally date older men.'

"I might remind you, John, that 'Lorraine never stops yakking' is not yet grounds for divorce in the state of Ohio."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Look, we might have our little tiffs, but I think we should stay together for the sake of the children."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'Giles, I'm sorry, but it's just not working I didn't want to tell you this way. . . continued in bathroom. . .'

'Wife me does not understand my not.'

'you know a black dress would have been more slimming' - the first straw.

'We can't have a tete-a-tete with only one tete.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Has anyone turned in a temper, because he keeps losing his."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'There's only one thing that keeps me from being a happily married woman...him.'

Body language: the double negative

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

The world is coming to an end: 'You'll get over it -- I felt the same way after my divorce.'

"My mate is driving me to extinction!"

"I'm sorry, Ted, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say you had pierced?"

"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."

"Is this man boring you?"

"I got you a ring - in case of emotional drowning."

"We've got a headache."

'Oh, Ben is a good man...like stem cells are good, but I am looking for embryonic stem cells.'

Tough Love Birds

'I try to save for a rainy day, but I'm married to a gullywasher.'

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

Women's research center for male behavior.

of course I'm a slimeball, but you knew that before we got married!

'Sure you can kiss me goodnight...what do you want to kiss?'