Couples Coach Gifts

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Relationship Warning Lights

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

She - Interpreter - He.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

Your Home Remodel Team

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Arthur, I need my space."

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"It's not you-it's me."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Arouse Me!"

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."