Relationship Coach Pillows

The male conversation enhancement pill.

Men. After shelling out for flowers, dinner and a movie, they all expect the same thing: a refund.

"It's not you-it's me."

"I guess this makes up for all those months you didn't speak to me."

'I normally date older men.'

"I might remind you, John, that 'Lorraine never stops yakking' is not yet grounds for divorce in the state of Ohio."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Look, we might have our little tiffs, but I think we should stay together for the sake of the children."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'Wife me does not understand my not.'

'you know a black dress would have been more slimming' - the first straw.

'We can't have a tete-a-tete with only one tete.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Giles, I'm sorry, but it's just not working I didn't want to tell you this way. . . continued in bathroom. . .'

"Has anyone turned in a temper, because he keeps losing his."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'

The world is coming to an end: 'You'll get over it -- I felt the same way after my divorce.'

Body language: the double negative

'There's only one thing that keeps me from being a happily married woman...him.'

of course I'm a slimeball, but you knew that before we got married!

'I try to save for a rainy day, but I'm married to a gullywasher.'

Women's research center for male behavior.

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

Tough Love Birds

'Oh, Ben is a good man...like stem cells are good, but I am looking for embryonic stem cells.'

"We've got a headache."

"I got you a ring - in case of emotional drowning."

'Sure you can kiss me goodnight...what do you want to kiss?'

How To Keep Promises

"I TOLD you not to use that cheap toilet paper!"

"I miss my husband all the time. . ."

"There are two sides to every story. The right side and your side."

"My mate is driving me to extinction!"