Relationship Coach's Delight Pillows

'I'm sorry but he can't come to the phone right now. He's busy making amends for being late for supper.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"It's not you-it's me."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"Arouse Me!"

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

Couple

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"I might remind you, John, that 'Lorraine never stops yakking' is not yet grounds for divorce in the state of Ohio."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

The band was really swinging, providing a nice cover for Andrew and Carolyn's argument.

'He looks set in his ways, but I can change him.'

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

Tough Love Birds