Dating Coach Pillows

"That's the dating guru."

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

'He's my dating coach. Don't worry, you'll get used to him after a few hours.'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Lively bubbly blonde WLTM....

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

You're wearing your lab coat. What's up? Something big. Amending my unified theory of picking up chicks. Check it out. Explain, doctor. To start, you'll need a notepad and a gym membership.

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.