Relationship Economist Gifts

'If 2 can live as cheaply as one, then 3 must be even cheaper!'

'If we bundle the money that goes to your first wife's alimony, plus the deposits you keep making into the new wife's bank account....it's easy to see where your money goes!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Sexual chemistry set

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Harold, you've changed."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Awkward First Dates

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

Relationships.

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."