Relationship Dynamics Gifts

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'My tinnitus is so loud it keeps my wife awake.'

"And furthermore, I don't like the way you argue!"

"George is a deep thinker, but his thoughts rarely come to the surface."

'I'm sorry, Henry, but you're just not cost effective any more.'

"I thought we agreed you were going to cry on the inside."

"I know you're not mad at me, but could you give me the silent treatment anyway?"

"Well, there's no sense in us both getting a lobotomy."

'It's one of my many talents. I can not talk and not listen at the same time.'

"But it will never work between us! Your primary concern is with the business and mine is with stakeholders!"

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

Businessman threatening to sack his wife.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

"Notice anything different?"

"I'm popping out for some anonymous sex. Can I bring you back anyone?"

"To be frozen solid for a while on the north slope of Mt. Everest would, I occasionally feel, be a welcome change."

"And if I could just point your attention to the data here, I think you will see why your feelings are incorrect."

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

"My brain can no longer maintain the intense neural activity of infatuation."

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

"Goodnight sweetheart I'm off to troll you on Twitter!"

"You were with her again, weren't you?"

'It's the old story with Bob and me - the eternal hexagon.'

'There's nothing on television - Do you want to have a fight?'

"Would you mind not interrupting? I'm trying to have a sensible conversation."

'And he's always accusing me of flirting with every man I meet.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

"Just because I'm your boss, doesn't mean we can't be friends, loser."

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

"Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend that someone else is denying me sex."

Oral Contraception - 'No!'

"I'm sorry, did you say something you haven't already said a million times before?"