Relationship Discussions Gifts

"I don't think we're going to be able to agree on a pizza topping that will solve all of our problems."

'Is your marriage okay?' - 'I wouldn't know. We're not talking.'

'Oh, it's not Wally. The problem is ME. The truth is, I've never been comfortable in my own demographic!'

"At the top of our news this evening, once again there were no clear winners on the Phil Donahue show today."

"I always presumed she'd be much longer suffering than she turned out to be."

Ok, it is a 'Man's World,' but I can't always excuse myself to go powder my nose!

'45 and never been divorced? What's wrong with him?'

"This has always been your answer to everything, hasn't it !"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

Very Difficult Conversations

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Tunnel of like.

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'