Relationship Debates Gifts

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and two of her friends, I think one was a dude, then we all did Ecstasy, rented a limo, and went to Vegas—but I swear that's all that happened."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'Yes, but at least I don't fake the whole relationship.'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'Yes, I'm a drone and don't do much, but she's a workaholic!'

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

"You mean you're just going to throw 274 mortgage payments out the window?"