Relationship Debater Gifts

"He said he's with another woman, but I know that he's at the golf club again."

"My friend!" "My husband!" "My God!"

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say person A developed a crush on person B, who happens to be less productive. Let's say person A then conducted a study that concluded there's a 78.9% chance that such a crush leads to dating, then to cohabitation, and finally to person B becoming a a drain on person A's resources. Hypothetically, what's the best way to get person B to compensate person A for the time I ... he ... spent conducting the study? Very bad man.

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

'Darling-I thought that now we're engaged....'

"Well if these walls could talk, I'm pretty sure they'd agree with me."

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

Like Minded

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

And now, for a rebuttal.

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"Have you seen my wife?"

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions