Marriage Debaters Gifts

Cops at domestic scene with the Hickenloopers.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Changing Minds

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Do you agree with Rudy Giuliani? He said the president doesn't love America, because he's always apologizing for it and finding fault with it. Thoughts? *Actual reader question. Sounds EXACTLY like love to me. My husband would disagree, but don't mind him, he's just a quarrelsome know-it-all. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

Marriage & Divorce.

Holding the moral high ground

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

"I liked you better as my first husband."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'It was rumoured Henshott's father had been involved in certain genetic and biological cross-breeding experiments...''

Attorney General John Ashcroft

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

'I know the difference between right and wrong, but it hasn't held me back.'

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

"It seems your polls have slumped ever since that issue with the washing up."

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."

What Kind of God

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

"...for better OR worse, not AND."