Relationship Debates Pillows

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and two of her friends, I think one was a dude, then we all did Ecstasy, rented a limo, and went to Vegas—but I swear that's all that happened."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'She's left herself go: She has barnacles everywhere now...'

"Marriage, mortal combat. Tomato, tomahto."

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'Yes, but at least I don't fake the whole relationship.'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

"This isn't working out, Henry...I'm a social butterfly and you're just an annoying little moth!"

"You mean you're just going to throw 274 mortgage payments out the window?"

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"I don't see what you see in him."

"Now who's being judgy?"

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'