Relationship Debaters Pillows

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

"Where you want to hunt and gather tonight?"

Changing Minds

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'I've spent a fortune wining and dining you today Julie and now you tell me you love Picasso!'

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"Now who's being judgy?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Marriage & Divorce.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"I find it hard to perform in these market conditions."

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Bread Winner-Need More Dough

"I don't want to get too serious."

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"