Relationship Debaters Prints

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

"Where you want to hunt and gather tonight?"

Changing Minds

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

'I've spent a fortune wining and dining you today Julie and now you tell me you love Picasso!'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"Now who's being judgy?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Do you agree with Rudy Giuliani? He said the president doesn't love America, because he's always apologizing for it and finding fault with it. Thoughts? *Actual reader question. Sounds EXACTLY like love to me. My husband would disagree, but don't mind him, he's just a quarrelsome know-it-all. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

Marriage & Divorce.

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"I find it hard to perform in these market conditions."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."