Relationship Discussers Pillows

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

His and Hers Wedding

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

But Darling, how could I possibly have an affair?

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Have you seen my wife?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

"I'm giving love one more try."

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'