Relationship Discussers Pillows

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

His and Hers Wedding

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

But Darling, how could I possibly have an affair?

"Have you seen my wife?"

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

I can have any woman I please - trouble is, these days they're almost impossible to please.

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

"I'm giving love one more try."

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

"I don't see what you see in him."

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

'My wife was psychic and divorced me over an affair I hadn't had yet.'