Relationship Argument Gifts

"Sorry about pocket dialing you last night... And then pocket texting, and then pocket emailing, and then pocket leaving angry voicemails, and then..."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Harold, you've changed."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Tunnel of like.