Relationship Philosophers Gifts

Yin And Yang break up

'Just remember...if we get married, we're gonna have four parents!'

"I'm going to miss you too, honey."

"You were the one, but now I need another one."

"OK, I never look at you anymore, but I can see you perfectly in my peripheral vision."

"Don't try to explain the nipples - Just go."

"I just think it's worth questioning -- are we mating for life because we want to, or because we've been socialized by all those nature documentaries?"

'We got married in a fever, and divorced in convulsions.'

'I know the divorce was a amicable, but shouldn't one of us have moved on by now?'

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

In the Guru District

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Life is for the birds.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Romance

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"