Relationship Reflections Gifts

'We would split up, but neither of us wants to be left alone with the baby.'

"I'm not in the mood, Edward."

'You keep asking me to change when I can't remember what from.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

Tunnel of like.

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."