Relationship Critiques Gifts

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"We don't talk anymore."

The Map of the Human Heart

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Issues.

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

Worm Bed

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."