Marital Reflections Gifts

"I'm not sure I've explored all my marriage options!"

"Christmas should be a time to show how much we care for one another."

The Map of the Human Heart

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Will I still be married?'

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

Love chair

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"No one rides off into me anymore."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"There's men for you: here today, gone today!"

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

"If you want a positive outlook, you're going to have to turn you chair around."

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'

'... all you have to say is QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!'

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."